have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
