Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
