everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize