I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
