I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Non-Jews are for practice
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
