He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
my sisters under your porch take her home
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
