talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize