I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
