end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
