I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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