Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I can text with my tongue
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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