It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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