I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize