Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
