I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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