RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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