Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
