butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
