Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
