i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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