She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
as a side note pls kill me
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
