Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Oh god it's open bar.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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