I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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