first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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