I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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