You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
