we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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