nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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