Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I want her autograph on my taint
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
