So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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