Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
