how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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