i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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