operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
