What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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