Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she pinky promised me she was 18
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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