google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
