I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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