you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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