You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
