He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Randomize