If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
