Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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