He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
