I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize