Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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