Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize