Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
