i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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