im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
