How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
