He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
