and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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