Moan for me like Helen Keller
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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