Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
