so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Randomize
