if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
