i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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