I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
