Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize