Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
