So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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