That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
