Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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