I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
