walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
This is the high leading the old right now
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
