He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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