What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Randomize
